How To Create A Healthy Queer Relationship


Mar 31, 2022

There is an important thing everyone needs to know about relationships; they need work. A good, happy, healthy relationship needs dedication – it won’t just happen without any effort. This is true of any relationship, but to have a healthy queer relationship can be even more hard work. It’s true that a queer couple will go through the same ups and downs as a heterosexual couple, but there is the added issue of the outside world, and the problems that other people’s opinions can cause within a relationship, and life in general. With that in mind, it’s crucial to know how to create a healthy queer relationship so you can be strong together. Read on to find out more.

Respect Each Other’s Pronouns

Getting pronouns right can be a challenge for people – unless you tell them your preferred pronoun, it could be that they make a mistake, albeit an unintentional one. This is something to be expected, and ideally one day everyone will ask before automatically assuming someone’s pronouns.

In a relationship, however, you should be able to expect your partner to get it right all the time. Calling one another by the correct preferred pronouns will help to make your relationship a healthy one, as you are showing one another respect and love. It shows that you are comfortable with your partner just the way they are. It’s also important not just to show this respect at home and between yourselves; when you introduce your partner to someone, for example, use the correct pronouns, and help others remember the right ones to use themselves. In this way, you are showing respect and standing up for your partner’s true self.

Be Surprising

Surprising your partner isn’t something that should only happen in a healthy queer relationship – it’s something everyone can enjoy and benefit from. With that in mind, it should be something you both do when you can. This might mean bringing home a gift, like chocolate or flowers, or perhaps even something more unusual like a treat from

Other ideas include:

  • Putting a note into their lunch bag
  • Buying tickets to a concert they thought they wouldn’t get to see
  • Sending flowers with a cute note
  • Going out for a meal on the spur of the moment
  • Sending a romantic text when you’re apart

Surprising your partner is a great way to show them you love them, and it can help to ensure your relationship stays healthy, even when you’ve been together for a long time and your daily lives are fairly routine.

Take Care Of Yourself

You can’t expect your relationship to be a healthy one if you don’t take care of your own needs and wellbeing. They say you can’t pour from an empty cup, and that’s true; you need to be happy and healthy in order for your relationship to be happy and healthy – and that goes for both of you.

That might mean taking some time for yourself once in a while and developing interests apart from one another. It might mean exercising more and eating better. It might mean seeing a therapist. Only you will know the right way to take care of yourself, but when you do, you’ll notice a definite improvement in your relationship and the way you feel about your partner.